Walking through your city sleep-mad and heart heavy, performing this constant dance like a bright light caught in wild dogs’ eyes, I am never quite sure of the time. Winter makes slipping through time simple, dark is always and doesn’t mean morning or night, and daylight is so brief that it serves only to exclude a few cold hours. On morning (I think) three (I think) of not sleeping, my eyes take on a simpleton’s gleam, they betray me and tell the world I am either insane or touched, and when I look in a mirror, I cannot tell the difference anymore. It amazes me that no one questions my explanations. Of course it is only sleep I lack. Of course there is nothing wrong. Of course the only thing I am is tired, and that is enough to explain away my moron’s eyes and lunatic grin, my stutter stop sentences and lurching gait, the staccato bursts of profanity followed by apology. The allowances granted me by anyone hearing about my troubled sleep are enough to convince me that all wars have been fought over sleep, instead of sex, money and god as I have always assumed. Sleep is more precious than gold, and it is clear I am late to this party of knowledge.
January 11, 2010
Leave a Comment
January 25, 2009
Leave a Comment
**A note: The person who sent this included a url to a blog. I’m not posting it right now, as I’m not certain that they wanted it included. So, if you’re out there reading this, author, let me know and I’ll happily add it.**
thinking of you again.
almost a year and you still have this hold on my heart,
i’m high on cocaine, thinking of when we used to share that and then make love
knowing that now
all i have is pornography and your fading memory to satisfy me
i hope that you are happy.
no, i really hope that you are miserable but i know that part of the healing process is letting go
but i’m not ready to do that yet.
i still love you- i’ll always love you
i hope that you find what you need